Slice of Life
by Raven-Leigh
Summary: Alucard goes through life with his master, Integra, from the time she is twelve years old up. What situations do they face together? Nothing pleasant for Alucard, most likely.
1. Count For Me!

_Hi there! This is inspired by a discussion that I had with CornCob from . =D I blame her for the mind rot. Sesame Street belongs to whoever..._

"AAAAAAAALUCAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!"

The twelve year old had a voice that rang throughout the halls, and to the vampire's mind, throughout the ages. And gliding in like a grotesque corpse in a shooting gallery, the vampire made his presence. "Yes, master?" He looked around to make sure things were alright. Windows shut so master wouldn't catch a cold? Check. Lightbulbs burning brightly so she wouldn't strain her eyes? Check. Books put up in the shelf so she wouldn't trip and break her neck? Check. TV off so she wou-… Wait. The TV was on. Alucard narrowed his eyes at the flickering box that the child was sitting in front of. "Master, what in the nine levels of hell is THAT?"

The girl was giggling and hugging her knees, rocking back and forth in front of the television set as a blue puppet danced around with googly eyes. "It's called Sesame Street! Come and watch it with me?" She patted the floor next to her with a smile, then looked back at the television.

Alucard was wary. However, master had ordered, so servant would comply. The vampire slid to his knees and crawled forward, flopping onto his stomach next to the child, head propped up on his hands. "Aren't you a little too old for this, master? This looks as if it were made for, you know, small children?"

Integra shot him a look, one of those looks that a mother sometimes gave her children when they said dirty words. "I still like Sesame Street. Oooh it's coming on!" She pointed at the screen as a circle of what Alucard figured was a spotlight wound its way around the TV screen. He heard a familiar, butchered sort of music that he'd not heard in a long, long time. And then his jaw dropped open.

"I AM COUNT VON COUNT!" Alucard cringed as he stared at the purple puppet. It had a pointy nose, obviously a parody of Count Dracula of Romania with its black hair, black clothing, and single monocle over left eye. "They call me the count because I love to count things! So join me while we count!" The music started again as the spotlight swirled around and then the screen went red.

"He's my FAVORITE! Isn't he just the most adorable, Alucard?" The vampire seemed to think differently, but then the child started to count with the puppet. "VUN! HA HA HA!" She held out a single finger at the screen. "TWO! HA HA HA!" Another finger poked out. "THREEEEE! HA HA HA! THREE. THREE COOKIES WE COUNTED! Wasn't that fun?!" She laughed as the count made his exit on the TV screen, folding his cape up around his face and fleeing.

Alucard felt ill.

Integra turned to him and grinned widely. "You know… Walter told me that you're a count, too."

"M'lady, that is inaccurate. I am a prince, specifically, I was the Voivode of Wallachia in Romania. I imagine you could have called me a count, but I was specifically a prince. A leader. Real royalty."

"Oh! … Did you wear a monocle?"

"Pardon?"

"Count Von Count wears a monocle. Did you?"

"I'm afraid not. I wore my royal garb and-"

"BOOOOORING! COUNT FOR ME, PRINCE ALUCARD!" She bounced up and down as she sat there before him, a bright smile on her face.

Alucard would have loved to say that he was immune to the eyes that she was shining at him and her orders, but alas, it would've been a lie on both counts. "But master, that is ridiculous. You can't possibly expect me to stoop to the level of a cartoon thing?"

"It's not a cartoon, it's a puppet. A muppet specifically. NOW COUNT! Do it right, too! I know you have an accent, if you're Romanian, you HAVE to have the accent! Count for me COOOOOOOOOUNT FOR ME!"

Alucard sighed, slightly irritated, yet he had no choice but to cave to his master's command. "And what shall I count, my master?" He watched the girl look around, then spotted what instinctively was the right things. "How about the lights in the home?"

"That's the ticket. Yes, I want you to count the lights in our home. And do it right, I said! No skimping on details, Alucard, or…or…"

The vampire smiled wickedly, showing off inch-long fangs. "Or what, little master?"

"Or I won't allow you to feed." And that got his attention.

**********

Walter enjoyed the silence of the kitchen as he placed the paper grocery bags down on the counter. He'd had an uneventful romp through the grocery and was happy that he came home to peace instead of a vampire rampaging through the hallways, chasing the new master of Hellsing. He thought back about little Integra and smiled with affection at the thought of how strong she'd been in the face of knowing what was all together to be one of her greatest enemies, a vampire. It was quite remarkable how Integra and Alucard got along, even past the relationship of master and servant.

And then he heard it. He paused in the middle of removing a bag of carrots to listen closer. He thought he heard it, but he wasn't quite sure. "SEV-HUN! HA HA HA!" No, he was definitely sure that he'd heard it. He placed the bag of carrots down and crept toward the edge of the kitchen, poking his head out of the door. "EIGHT! HA HA HA!" He spied a pale expanse of vampire, as tall as he remembered him, a wide, insane smile set on his face, eyes wide, monocle set over one. His hair was black and coily, beard and mustache set in place. Vlad Dracula wandered the hallways with his master on his shoulders, holding onto her ankles as she pointed up at the lights. "NINE! HA HA HA!"

Walter couldn't help but allow a smile break across his features at the sight, shook his head. "Heaven knows there is no shortage of amusing things in this life, no matter how old a man is to get." He heard Integra and the ancient prince chime into "ELEVEN! HA HA HA!" together as he turned to continue putting the groceries up.


	2. Pinky Out

"Walter, will you play with me?" The young lady peered up at the butler as he dusted the furniture. He paused to peer down at her and offered a soft smile.

"M'lady, I'm quite busy at the moment. Where is your macabre playmate?"

"Oh... Alucard." He watched her toe the edge of the rug with her loafer, scowling. "He's quite ungentlemanly. He likes to lick that enormous tongue out, likes to let his hair go unkempt, and is quite fond of that overly large hat that he dons on his head most of the time. I wish he would take it and the sunglasses off when he's speaking to me."

"Well then why don't you order him to do that, Miss Integra?" She watched him dust some antique that her father had held most dear to him during life. "You are his master, after all, and it's perfectly in line for you to do that."

"But women cannot order men around in that fashion. It would be plain rude."

"Let me ask you, dear Integra. Is Alucard polite to you?"

The child paused for a moment in thought, placed a finger to her chin and then smiled. "Walter, you are a God send. You are absolutely right. I think I will implement my own form of punishment if he doesn't play with me."

"Oh, Miss Integra, he has no choice but to do as you ask him to do. Don't let him run over you. Make him into your servant, child."

**********

"AAAAAALUCAAAAARD! COME HERE MY SERVANT, COME HEEEEEEERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE HE-"

Alucard appeared suddenly, had a hand clapped over his master's mouth, left eye twitching involuntarily. "Master, I am quite capable of hearing you in the castle or outside of the castle. You need not shout at the top of your lungs, for it only serves to irritate the cranky vampire."

"Play house with me!"

"Pardon?"

"Take the hat and the sunglasses off and play house with me! I have no one to play with of my own age and it would mean ever so much to me if you did."

"I don't play house. I don't like to sit with stuffed animals and little girls and do things of the sort. I like guns and blood and gore and death and all of the nasty stuff that little brats dislike. I like things that little girls have no idea of, and I don't plan to change."

"I ORDER you to play house with me. That is not an option. You will play house with me and you will do what I say when I say it or else."

"Or else what?"

She gave him that look of sheer determination that she was good at putting in place whenever he challenged her authority. "Point taken, Master. Where shall I sip my tea? On the side of Mister Rabbit, or shall I join Lady Porcelain in a chair opposite?"

"I shall sit at the head of the table, and you servant, shall sit at the foot." Alucard thought she was joking. Until he noted the playset that she had in her room. Pristine, too perfect for a twelve year old, too horrible to imagine. And so he sat on the right of Lady Porcelain and to the left of Mister Rabbit with a big red bow on top of his head.

"Pinky out. Drink."

Alucard decided that he would get his revenge on his master one day. He just had to think long and hard about how to do so without harming her physically. Mental anguish was another thing that was entirely different. "Oh, what a magnificent tea party. May I have some more?"


	3. Fluffy

Integra decided that perhaps she was a little too old to sleep with teddy bears. Alucard had made her question that lately, had commented that perhaps she was too old for everything she enjoyed. No more tea parties, no more Sesame Street, and no more drawing cartoon characters in her notebooks that she kept in her room. The girl huffed as she flopped down face-first on her bed, peering up at the large stuffed animal beside her pillow. Her mother had given it to her before she'd passed away, and it held a place near and dear to her heart as being the only thing she had left of her. She crawled up and wrapped her arms around the teddy bear for comfort as she thought back.

Alucard had been broody for the past couple of months, perhaps because there was a shortage of things to do. She'd been introduced to the things around Hellsing, had tried her hand at doing some of the paperwork, but it was all so foreign to her, so unnatural. She knew that eventually she would have to pick things up and surge forward, get a footing in the corporate world of vampire hunting and do what she had to do. But that would mean leaving her childhood far behind, and the girl wasn't quite sure if she was ready to do that.

_Great time to realize that, Integral. You killed your own uncle. He was trying to kill you, but I'm pretty sure that normal thirteen year old girls…or twelve back then, don't kill their own family members. You're a class A freak. You fit in well with Alucard._ She squeezed the teddy bear tightly and closed her eyes. She didn't realize how sleepy she was until she started to fall asleep against it.

**********

Alucard was one to take advantage of situations when he saw fit to do so. He was doing his normal midnight wanderings of the Hellsing mansion when he happened upon his master's cracked door. Peering in, he saw the sheet of familiar blonde hair draped over a fuzzy brown toy, and from what he saw, she was fast asleep.

The vampire smiled as he thought back on previous experiences with his master. She loved to play games, he figured. Loved to humiliate him. Why not play a game with her? She would enjoy it.

**********

Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing opened her eyes slowly as the dawn crept through the window. She yawned and sat straight, stretched as she removed her hands from the teddy bear…and then stared at a red substance on her hands. The shriek barely passed her lips when the bear's grotesque head turned a one eighty to stare at her. "MAMA." The teddy bear held its arms up to her before Integra passed out.

Alucard blinked and quickly reformed, staring down at his limp master on the bed. When Walter barged in, he had nothing to blame, only pointed at the stuffed animal. "I DIDN'T DO IT!"


	4. Askew

"Make sure that you look both ways before you cross the street, Master Integra. Make sure that you don't talk to strangers and keep out of the way of the flowing foot traffic, and PLEASE please don't let Alucard do anything…untoward or otherwise stupid." Walter took a deep breath and released it, adjusting the teenager's blazer collar. "You must be careful, even with your servant with you. There are people out there that could take you away and if I never found you…"

Integra blinked a few times and then smiled. "Walter. Honestly. If they captured me, then they would bring me right back. Alucard has informed me that I am an absolute screaming brat, and therefore that there is little chance that I would be captured. Now Walter, stop worrying, and know that I am thirteen years old, hardly too young to go visiting one of England's great landmarks."

Walter looked skeptical. "I don't doubt your capability to guide yourself in that direction and then get home safely. I wonder about Alucard's ability to escort you there without causing massive death and mayhem that would bring the entire country into a fury. Please don't let him do anything stupid, Miss Integra because then we would really have a crisis on our hands and might even have to lock him up again in the dungeon. And you wouldn't want that for your little servant, would you?"

Alucard rose from the floor behind Walter, eyes narrowed behind his orange glasses as he sipped from a straw which was in turn shoved into a pack of blood. It was a macabre Capri Sun, Integra noted, and she was amused by such a comparison. "You doubt my capability of transporting master from here to there, from there to elsewhere, and then from elsewhere to here once again, Walter? I'm shocked." He took a long sip of the red liquid, sighed in refreshment after he swallowed. "I'm simply appalled. It would seem that you no longer trust the man that once accompanied you into dangerous territory."

The butler smiled and turned to the vampire, bowing slightly. "It's not that I distrust your ability to go from here to there, there to elsewhere, then from elsewhere to her, it's the point that trouble seems to follow you wherever you may go, and in going with Miss Integra, you might inadvertently cause trouble which could compromise her safety. So Alucard, if you would, please refrain from harming anyone while you are with her unless they are trying to harm our master in the first place. Be sure to look both ways before you cross the street, Master Alucard. Make sure that you don't talk to strangers, and keep out of the way of the flowing foot traffic, and please, PLEASE don't do anything untoward or otherwise stupid."

The No Life King sucked all of the life out of the straw, then tossed the empty blood pouch into the garbage can that wasn't far away. "So in other words, babysit, don't have any fun, and make sure that I leave all life within the great Kingdom of Britain untouched and unscarred for tonight. You are so good with words Walter. However shall I survive with your specific instructions? The very nature of the vampire is to walk in the night and wreak havoc, and you've just stripped away my ability to do any of that."

"Ah, but Master Alucard, you will be walking the night. And I'm sure Miss Integra shall be quite irritated with your company, so you may wreak havoc in that manner."

"I suppose so. You're right, old butler. Then, master." He dropped to a knee in front of her, a wicked smile playing across his features. "Shall we take our leave of this musty place and partake of knowledge in the dead of night for the sake of our little brain?"

"Vampire, little is the last word you would use for my mind, and knowledge is partaken in daily. The dead of night is simply a convenient medium so that you may accompany me and offer a tour."

"That I may, Master, that I may." He stood from his position and offered his arm to the teenager. "Shall we, Master?"

"We shall, Alucard." Master took servant's arm like a lady would a gentleman's and wandered out of the door with him.

Walter took a deep breath and sighed, shook his head as he closed the door behind them. He feared for the people around them, not Integra.

**********

"Alucard, why is the sky so utterly clear some nights as if it is beautiful and then other nights, it is murky and depressing, as if it doesn't want anyone around?"

"It's the moon, master." The silky smooth words tumbled forth from the vampire as he stared up at the sky. "The moon sets the mood of the play. The play that occurs after the sun disappears and darkness reigns. The beauty of the night is in its solitude, its pride, its sights, and sounds."

"I don't know if I like the darkness that much." She turned her head up to look at the tall man. "I'm scared of the dark."

"Master, you should never fear the dark when I'm around. I shall protect you, as shall Walter until the day that he dies. However, I shall never die. I will always protect you, and kill whatever lurks in the dark waiting to pounce upon your back."

"Alucard, do you miss being human?"

"I miss the ability to die."

"Is that all?"

"I miss not the frailties of the human body. Living throughout the centuries, my mind has clarified in the ways of life and death, despite the fact that this body has known neither of those. I am who I am, and I am neither yet I am both. Humanity can only see in the short term for the human life is very short. But that is enough of that talk." He smiled in almost a kind manner down at his master. "We're almost here." He gestured up to the tall clock that was before them. "Master has tolerated much in the journey. Are your legs tired?"

"Yes, can we rest?"

Alucard chuckled as he leaned down, lifted the girl in his arms and shot off toward their destination. Integra held back a scream, as she was far too used to her servant's antics. It'd been a year since she found him in the dungeon during her uncle's attack, and privately she was glad that she had. Not only for being alive, but also for amusement and witty bantering back and forth.

**********

Alucard sighed softly as he wandered slowly up the side of the building. "Master, does it please you? The sights and sounds? The lights?"

Integra clung tightly to her servant, her hair flicking slightly in the wind as she forced her eyes open, to look around. "Please don't drop me… I'm scared of heights, Alucard!"

"Ah, master, we'll have to cure you from that." He turned around so that his front was facing the ground, parallel with it as a matter of fact. "Does it please you? Look… Above us is the large clock tower. Below us is city street. Have you ever seen anything as beautiful?"

Integra took a deep breath and released it in a shudder. "Yes, the ground."

"As it were." Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth as she slipped from the vampire's arms. Integra screamed the entire way down, flailing for something to grasp onto, but finding no hand or foothold. When she ran out of breath, she screamed more until…

Everything came to a sudden halt. Her hair was still fluttering around, her glasses were askew on her face, and all she could see was black. Black hair. She clutched at it tightly as she trembled, squeezing her servant tightly. "ALUCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!"

"Ah, you'll never lose that set of lungs. It defines your personality so well, Master."

"TAKE ME HOME, ALUCARD. I'M TELLING WALTER!"

"As you wish Master. He might even ground me." Alucard ignored the people around them as he offered a malicious grin. They parted as servant walked down the street with master in arms, trying to comfort her.


	5. VHS

"Now Miss Integra, you know that you are not to answer the door. You are not to go into my room nor are you to accompany Alucard to the dungeons underneath our home. You are not to get into the movies that we talked about, and you are not to leave the house under any circumstances, no, not even with Alucard."

Integra stood there and sighed, listening to the rambling that her butler and guardian loved to spout around the place. He always gave her guidelines of the sort, and she always ended up breaking one of the rules that had been set before her. She was fourteen years old, old enough to cop an attitude, the epitome of teenager. She didn't think anyone needed to tell her anything, and by damn, she wasn't going to listen to what he said no matter what he said it was for.

Walter knew that, too. He took a deep breath and released it. "Miss Integra, please listen to me. These things are important." He guided her to the phone, which had been there for a long long time with the same emergency numbers set beside it. He went into detail about the types of numbers and when they were to be used, but Integra ignored him in favor of gazing out of the window. It was nearly sunset, almost time for HIM to rise. Him. Her real guardian, her servant. The guardian that stood at her bedside at night to keep her from being scared of the dark, the guardian that took her on late-night romps through the fields of England at high speeds, the guardian that held her when her stomach was hurting after she'd eaten too much ice cream. Alucard was a servant, but he was likely one of the most favorite people she'd ever been around. Or … Like Walter had put it one time, he wasn't so much of a person as he was a force of nature.

She was snapped out of her thoughts as she looked up at the butler, who was chastising her for not paying attention. "Oh, bother. I don't even know why I do this everytime. It's not like Alucard will let any harm come to you."

"Well then go on your date, Walter, and have some fun. Stay out late for once and leave me alone." The girl stuck her tongue out playfully at the butler, before holding her hands out childishly. "I'm THIIIS big, I swear that I can take care of myself, especially with a five hundred year old vampire to help."

"You do know you're not to touch the stove?"

"If I want something to eat, I'll get Alucard to either cook it or go out and get it for me from a take out area. Is that right?"

"That's perfectly right, young lady. And remember, bedtime is at ten. Not a tick later."

"Yes, Walter." She snagged his arm and marched him toward the door, snagging his blazer on the way. "Go on, you're going to be late, and she'll be dreadfully angry at you, won't she?"

Walter chuckled. "Yes, I suppose she will be, Miss Integra. Very well then. You be a good girl and don't let the vampire tear anything up while I'm gone. If I come home to a smashed hovel of what was once a manor, I'll hold you personally responsible."

"Yes, whatever. Out." She shoved the butler out of the door, slammed it, then locked it. "Finally. GoodNESS." She started wandering around the manor, trying to figure out what to do in the half hour it would take for Alucard to wake. She decided that perhaps it was time to watch one of those movies that were forbidden to her by Walter.

After all, she'd turned fourteen just a few weeks before, and from her judgment, she was just old enough to start watching them. And so, she changed course, fairly skipping down the hallway to the entertainment room. And there, she hit paydirt. In the cabinet were rows and rows of movies, organized by title and genre. She fanned through the romantic comedies, brushed through the dramas, and finally landed on the horrors. Her father had been a big fan of things of the nature. There were many different ones, from Psycho, to Halloween, to Dracula, to- "Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" She read the back of the movie, over and over again. "Texas… Isn't that a state in the US? Boring." She put it back. She picked up Dracula, read the back of it, and decided she was in the mood for a regular vampire instead of her normal servant vampire. She popped the VHS in and hit play.

**********

Alucard's eyes snapped open at six sharp. He yawned, pressed his hand on the coffin lid and sat up, swinging his legs over the side to stand. He stretched and wandered out of the dungeon, toward the surface to claim what blood packet he could. Not like he had any competition. There were no more Draculs or Draculinas around, something that he mourned quite often. He smiled as he thought of Integra, about how she would make the perfect Draculina. "One day, Master. When you're old enough and are able to consent properly."

He practically salivated at the thought of fresh blood, but tried not to let it bother him too badly. "Once again, a packaged food product this eve. I wish above all things that the Hellsing organization would invest in slave labor. How hard is that? It was just fine in my day, why not now?" He shook his head and sighed. "Horrible, really." He reached the top of the stairway and wandered toward the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator just long enough to draw out three blood packets when he heard something that grated his nerves.

Horribly cheesy organ music. Coupled with dramatic prose in the background. He cracked a packet open and downed it in what seemed like three seconds, eyes closing with half disgust, half pleasure. Thirst was being quenched, but the taste of plastic was horrendous. Then came the sound of a cape swishing to his delicate ears. "Dracula?" He nearly spewed blood all over the kitchen in laughter. "Dracula? Come ON, Walter." He crept closer toward the light he saw toward the hallway and then paused, a psychotic grin frozen on his face. "Master is watching Dracula. How … Adorable." He popped open the second blood packet and sucked it dry without thinking, tossing the empty plastic container onto the floor before taking a few steps toward the entertainment room. iIntegra, watching horror movies? Master, you could have chosen a classic. Why Dracula? Don't you know that you have the original right in front of you in plain view? Why settle for fake when you can have the authentic experience? No organ music, but I can do rather nicely on my own if you want charming./i The vampire slid his way into the shadows of the room, lurking well behind the girl, out of her area of sense.

**********

Integra leaned in close to the television, eyes wide as the strange 'vampire' showed his fangs and then sank them into the pretty lady. "That's…so… Ow." She rubbed at her neck and caught something out of the corner of her eye. It had been a movement of shadow, or had it been?

She rolled her eyes and turned attention back to the movie. A few moments later, she flinched when she thought she saw a hand reaching out for her. Integra grew very still and silent. "Alucard?" When no one answered, she felt scared. Really and truly gnawingly scared. "ALUCARD?! WHERE ARE YOU ALUCARD?!"

There was once again no answer, but she saw movement on her other side. The fourteen year old girl shrieked and shot up off of the couch, tearing toward the door. Only to run smack into it. She shrieked again and started jerking at the knob. She saw more movement in the corner of her eye and gasped, dropping to the floor to see a black figure standing above her, hellacious red eyes peering over a black cloak. "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!" Alucard stared as Integra passed out. Again.

"This is becoming a habit, Master. A bad, bad habit." Alucard grinned, scooped her up, and went to put her to bed.


	6. Eggplant Casserole

"Alucard, I'm hungry." Integra bounced slightly, hands held behind her back as she peered up at the vampire. Way, way up. She admired his tallness at important times in her life, and this was one of those times. He could reach those very high cabinets that she was unable to.

"And master, what would you desire?" The question was delivered, or rather forced, through clenched teeth. He'd been left as babysitter once again for the girl, and he really didn't relish what was inevitable. She was at one of those ages where she could eat everything in sight, and Walter had a hard time keeping things in the kitchen for a growing teenager. Alucard had never known in all of his five hundred years that a girl weighing one hundred twenty pounds soaking wet could put away as much food as she could. Even in his human life he'd never eaten as much as she did.

"I think I want some of that eggplant casserole that Walter makes. It's my favorite, Alucard, can you make it?"

The vampire smirked. She was only nice lately when she wanted something, and he figured she had to be awfully hungry for asking instead of ordering him around. "Does he have a recipe lying around?"

"Uhm…" She placed a finger to her lips and peered around at the cabinets. "I'm not quite so sure, but he puts eggplant and cheese in it. I thought you were old. How come you don't know how to make it?"

"Because I am not a cook, master. I make tea and I make toast. I've never made an eggplant casserole, muchless anything else that is remotely edible other than those previous items that were mentioned. Are you sure that you don't want some toast and some tea? I'm frightened that I may poison you with my cooking."

"But I'm HUNGRY. I don't want toast! Though yes, make me some tea. Look around, he probably has the recipe somewhere." And with that, the girl twirled around and wandered back out of the kitchen, leaving an Alucard with a twitching eye standing there in the middle of chairs and pots and pans.

"Master… Why do you test me so? Do you want me to be a bad servant, master? Why do you put temptation in front of me and then expect me to not reach out and grab it?" He turned and searched through the refrigerator for…what was it called? Oh yes, that vile produce called 'eggplant'. He'd hated it as a human and hated it now. Just because it was purple. He pulled two out and smacked them down on the counter, making a few of the soft seeds shoot out of the ends with the force of the blow. "Master wants this, master wants that, master has to have this, master has to have that." Alucard pulled a knife from a nearby drawer, starting to chop.

Neglected his fingers were in the way.

**********

"Alucard, where are you?" She stopped as she spotted a speck of blood on the counter, stared at it. She looked over at the oven, noting that it was on. She smelled cheese and spices cooking, so as a habit, she wandered over and grasped the handle to peer in. When she opened the oven door, however, cheese did not meet her vision. She released a shriek that could have made a banshee cover its ears as she spotted a singed face, black with burned flesh. The eyeballs were missing and a sinister smile cracked the cooked skin upon the corpse's face.

"Sorry master!" He jerked up two sticks from the middle of the bubbling cheese, sending a renewed smell of burning flesh through the kitchen. "I forgot my fingers in the casserole and had to retrieve them! Help me reattach?"

Integra shrieked and turned, running straight out of the kitchen. Alucard followed, waving fingers in air, begging for help as his singed flesh flaked off into the floor.


	7. Gagging

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was not amused. Not in the slightest. She didn't know what she'd eaten bad, couldn't figure out how she'd eaten anything bad, but the fact was that she had and she wasn't forgetting it in the slightest. The girl leaned against the wall, cold sweat breaking out on her forehead as she silently ticked off the things she'd eaten in the past three days.

That first day…some abstract type of cereal that Walter enjoyed since she'd been out. Had the milk been ruined? For lunch, something. She couldn't remember. Supper was eggplant casserole which she'd adored and hadn't tasted funny.

The day after, more of that abstract type of cereal because it had that strange, grainy taste that she absolutely adored and more of the milk that was in the carton. Hadn't it tasted kind of funny when she drank from the bowl afterward? A sandwich for lunch, tuna fish as she recalled. Supper had been nothing as she'd been too busy at school doing a project with a few of her classmates. She'd been allowed to stay behind with them with special permission.

That day? Nothing since that morning. Toast that morning as there was no more cereal (Walter had thrown it out) and no more milk (mysteriously gone). She'd felt sick since that morning, but she was entirely sure that the toast hadn't caused it. Who ever heard of toast causing illness?

Integra groaned as her stomach lurched painfully, causing her to go into gagging fits as she ran for the bathroom.

**********

Alucard stepped quietly down the hallway as he thought about the mischief he had planned for the night. He would feed, then he would go and bother someone. But who would he bother? It was then that he paused at a bathroom door, hearing the occupant gag inside. It sounded mysteriously like an Integra gag, if his ears were so inclined to recognize such an important bodily function.

_Damn right it's important. _He chuckled pervertedly and melded himself through the door halfway to peer at the young woman. The blonde girl was perched over the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach into the bowl. He raised a brow and slipped the rest of the way through the door, kneeling beside her to reach out and hold her hair back.

Blue eyes cast a look up to him before she went into another wave of sickness. Faithfully, the servant sat there and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the wave to be over. He wrinkled his nose at the sounds and tried to think of where the stomach medication was in the kitchen. He'd never taken it, but Arthur before the child, years back, had been prone to taking it due to bouts of pain after a night of drinking. Surely there would still be some? He blinked as he heard her voice.

"Alucard? … Why are you in the bathroom?"

"Master, I heard you gagging and I found you were in need of my assistance. Who am I to not offer you such when you're in such dire circumstances?" He released her hair and melded back through the wall, traveling to the kitchen. Integra stared as he returned moments later with a large pink bottle, stepping through the wall as if he were coming to mother his own child. He poured a large dose of the medication and held it out toward the teenager. "Take this. It will help."

Integra swallowed the pink mixture slowly, feeling a soothing sensation coat her stomach and the sickness subside slightly. She looked up at Alucard, who was peering down at her with a silent expression, almost reverence. She colored slightly and looked away, clearing her throat. "Thank you, Alucard."

"Any time that you need anything, master, just speak up and I will be there." She watched the elegant man bow and then back out of the room to go put the medicine up.

Integra smiled and shook her head, whispering quietly. "Thank you, Alucard."


End file.
